The greatest thing about Cafferty's on-air snarkiness is that he instigates viewers to be equally snarky. The sarcastic e-mails pour in by the thousands. It's the cable news version of "The Smirking Chimp."

Cafferty is the last of the tough talking news guys, a live version of a Raymond Chandler novel. Living in New York years ago, I saw a younger Cafferty co-anchor the news, both on NBC and on WPIX. He had a way of letting you know which news stories he considered garbage, with an arch of an eyebrow or with the sarcastic tone of his voice. He was not into "happy talk." Fortunately, he hasn't mellowed with age.

On his "Cafferty File" segments, he has the habit of calling Congress "morons," "retards" and "idiots," and using editorial phrases like "and pigs fly upside down and the moon is made of green cheese," while Blitzer, enslaved by CNN, stiffly reads news reports and re-hashes political talking points with bobble-headed guests from both parties. It's a snore of a show but for Cafferty. Their dialogue together is classic. It's like your stiff high school substitute teacher taking on Fonzie from "Happy Days" in an improv session.

Here's a great exchange from last fall, when it looked like Karl Rove was going to get his butt caught in a legal grinder:

Cafferty: "What should Karl Rove do if he is indicted?...He might want to, he might want to get measured for one of those extra large orange jump suits, Wolf, because looking at old Karl, I'm not sure that he'd, they'd be able to zip him into the regular size one."

Blitzer: "He's actually lost some weight. I think he's in pretty good shape."

Cafferty: "Oh, well then, maybe just the regular off the shelf large would handle it for him."

Blitzer: "But, you know, it's still a big if. It's still a big if."

Cafferty: "Oh, I understand. I'm, I'm just hoping, you know. I love, I love to see those kinds of things happen. It does wonders for me."

This is pure blue-collar stuff. I mean, I can envision Cafferty, fedora tilted to its side ala Bogart, arguing in a bar that there was only ONE James Bond and that was Sean Connery. He's an old-fashioned scrapper, a cable version of print's Jimmy Breslin. He has an allergic reaction to crap. He's been covering the New York beat for nearly three decades. He knows the streets. He knows the people. He has the attitude. And, fortunately, CNN has him.

When Blitzer, who has to tout and/or cover long-winded partisan blather, talks back? Jack slaps back.

Cafferty: "Do I look like I just fell out of the back of a vegetable truck to you?"

Blitzer: "No, you look like Jack Cafferty..."

Comedy doesn't get any better than that.

When Cheney decided to spill his guts (?) on Fox after gunning down a lawyer, Cafferty wasn't overly impressed.

Blitzer: "First of all, Jack, what did you make of Dick Cheney's interview today?"

Cafferty: "Well, I obviously didn't see it 'cause it hasn't been released in its entirety yet, but I -- I would guess it didn't exactly represent a profile in courage for the vice president to wander over there to the F-word network for a sit down with Brit Hume. I mean, that's a little like Bonnie interviewing Clyde, ain't it? I mean, where was the news conference? Where was the -- where was the access to all of the members of the media? I don't know. You know? Whatever."

Blitzer: "You still think he needs to do a full-scale news conference in front of all of the cameras, all of the reporters, and ask whatever they want?"

Cafferty: "That's never going to happen. But, I mean, running over there to the Fox network to -- I mean that's -- talk about seeking a safe haven. He's not going to get any high, hard ones from anybody at the F-word network. I think we know that."

Last week, after Jack ranted about Chirac walking out on a European Summit meeting because a fellow Frenchman spoke in English, Wolfe replied:

Blitzer: "One of the great things I did years ago, I interviewed Jacques Chirac -- I convinced him to do it in English. He went to Harvard, he speaks English well and he actually sat down, did an interview with me in English. A great achievement on my part, Jack."

Cafferty: "Did anybody watch it?"

A lot of conservative critics, and believe me, there are a lot of them, call Cafferty a raging liberal. But he's not. He's a clear-thinking, plain-spoken man. He's an irritated American. He's a guy, like a lot of us, who's tired of being spun. Here's an exchange over the "press is to blame" for Americans' souring on the illegal Iraq invasion.

Cafferty: "You know, I just have a question. I mean, part of the coverage, they don't like the coverage, maybe because we were sold a different ending to this story three years ago. We were told that we'd be embraced as conquering heroes, flower pedals strewn in the soldiers' paths, a unity government would be formed, everything would be rosy this -- three years after the fact, the troops would be home.

"Well, it's not turning out that way. And if somebody came into New York City and blew up St. Patrick's Cathedral and in the resulting days they were finding 50 and 60 dead bodies a day on the streets of New York, you suppose the news media would cover it? You're damn right they would.

"This is nonsense, it's the media's fault and the news isn't good in Iraq. The news isn't good in Iraq. There's violence in Iraq. People are found dead every day in the streets of Baghdad. This didn't turn out the way the politicians told us it would. And it's our fault? I beg to differ...."

Blitzer: "I love it, Jack, when you tell our viewers how you really feel about an issue and you just did. Thanks very much."

Cafferty: "It's all your fault, Wolf."

Blitzer: No, but I think it's . . .

Cafferty: "That whole thing in Iraq is your fault. It's -- you're to blame for all of this stuff."

Blitzer: "I am the mainstream media. Is that what you're saying? All right, Jack, thanks very much. Jack Cafferty will be back soon."

When the government released a new tape of Osama bin Laden recently, Cafferty wondered aloud: "How important is the new Osama bin Laden tape? The last time we got a tape from Osama was right before the 2004 presidential election. Now here we are, four days away from Bush wiretapping hearings and up pops another tape from Osama bin Laden. Coincidence? Who knows?"

When Congress was battling over renewing "The Patriot Act," Cafferty smirked: "Who cares if the Patriot Act gets renewed? Want to abuse our civil liberties - Just do it! Who cares about the Geneva conventions? Want to torture prisoners - Just do it! Who cares about rules concerning the identity of CIA agents?

"Want to reveal the name of a covert operative? Just do it! Who cares about whether the intelligence concerning WMD's is accurate? You want to invade Iraq? Just do it. Who cares about qualifications to serve on the nation's highest court? Want to nominate a personal friend with no qualifications? Just do it.

"And the latest outrage, which I read about in The New York Times this morning, who cares about needing a court order to eavesdrop on American citizens? Want to wiretap their phones conversations? Just do it. ... What a joke. A very cruel, very sad joke."

Cafferty on Delay: "Has he been indicted yet?"

Jack was also in fine form during Hurricane Katrina:

Cafferty: "Where's President Bush? Is he still on vacation?"

Blitzer: "He's cut short his vacation. He's coming back to Washington tomorrow."

Cafferty: "Well, that would be a good idea. He was out in San Diego, I think, at a Naval air station giving a speech on Japan and the war in Iraq today. Based on his approval rating in the latest polls, my guess is getting back to work might not be a terrible idea."

And: ""I gotta tell you something, we got five or six hundred letters before the show actually went on the air, and no one - no one - is saying the government is doing a good job in handling one of the most atrocious and embarrassing and far-reaching and calamitous things that has come along in this country in my lifetime. I'm 62. I remember the riots in Watts, I remember the earthquake in San Francisco, I remember a lot of things. I have never, ever, seen anything as bungled and as poorly handled as this situation in New Orleans. Where the hell is the water for these people? Why can't sandwiches be dropped to those people in the Superdome. What is going on? This is Thursday! This storm happened 5 days ago. This is a disgrace. And don't think the world isn't watching. This is the government that the taxpayers are paying for, and it's fallen right flat on its face as far as I can see, in the way it's handled this thing."

And: "Do you suppose, Wolf, that the arrival of the relief convoys and the political photo ops on the Gulf Coast happening at the same time were a coincidence today? ...... It's embarrassing."

And let's not forget: ""The public is not going to buy any of this stuff that comes out of Washington. They're not going to believe anything that comes out of these partisan reports or stuff that was done from within the White House. It just isn't going to wash. The game is up with John Q Public. They're not buying this stuff anymore!"

On the foreign take-oversof U.S. ports, Jack weighed in with: "Wolf, this may be the straw that finally breaks the camel's back, this deal to sell control of six U.S. ports to a company controlled by the United Arab Emirates. There are now actually Senators and Congressmen and Governors and Mayors telling the White House you're not going to do this, and it's about time.

"No one has said no to this administration on anything that matters in a very long time. Well, this matters, matters a lot. If this deal is allowed to go through, we deserve whatever we get. A country with ties to terrorists will have a presence at six critical doorways to our country. And if anyone thinks the terrorists in time won't figure out how to exploit that, then we're all done.

"Nothing's happened yet, mind you, but if our elected representatives don't do everything in their power to stop this thing, each of us should vow to work tirelessly to see that they are removed from public office. We're at a crossroads. Which way will we choose?"

This guy's amazing.

After Bush stated that he was in control of "my government," Cafferty responded: "Is it still Bush's government? Remember in the cabinet meeting he said, don't worry about security, my government has taken a look at this and everything's alright? That's unbelievable."

Last year, Reverend James Dobson said that he had secret knowledge about Bush's reasons for nominating hack Harriet Miers to the Supremes. Jack was delighted: "I love this. I mean, I...this is just going to be one of the great shows, unless she backs away, one of the great shows we've seen in a while. If the Miers nomination to be a Supreme Court justice wasn't in trouble before, it is now. And by the way, it was in big trouble before. With evangelical leader Dobson hinting he might have secret information about Miers' views on such issues as abortion, and with his acknowledgment that he talked with Karl Rove at the White House about her nomination, Miers' opponents have been handed a loaded gun.

"Even if Dobson is called before the Senate Judiciary Committee and actually testifies, there'll always be a suspicion that we're not getting the whole story on her. Nevertheless, all that being said, I can't wait for the hearing. I mean, I wish they'd start this afternoon. Here's the question. Should evangelical leader James Dobson have to testify, be subpoenaed and be forced to testify at Harriet Miers' confirmation hearings? I hope he does. And I hope she does, and I just...I mean, I just can't wait. This is going to be a dream for people like me."

Blitzer: "You might have to wait until early December for those hearings, though, Jack."

Cafferty: "Yeah, but I mean, you know, this is going to be like watching those super trains that go from the Tokyo airport into downtown Tokyo, go off the tracks at maximum speed. I mean, you just won't see anything better than that."

Cafferty's even grumpy on his weekend "On the Money" show. Last October, he groused: "President Bush is calling on Americans to drive less, in between the trips on Air Force One to the Gulf Coast, which seems to be happening about every six hours in the last week or ten days."

When a man in Afghanistan, last week, was threatened with a government-ordered beheading for converting to Christianity sixteen years ago, Cafferty was equally diplomatic.

Cafferty: "Wolf, things are going real well since we brought democracy to Afghanistan. An Afghan man who converted from Islam to Christianity has been thrown in jail and could be executed under Afghanistan's constitution, which is based on Islamic law.

"...certainly executing someone because he wants to go to Church A as opposed to Church B seems barbaric, at least.

"I don't quite understand it, but there are a lot of other questions. The bin Laden thing, the heroin poppies that grow over there, the crop is supposedly better than ever. The Taliban is continuing to make inroads and is on its way back to a comeback in many parts of the country and they are a long way from uniting the entire country under Hamid Karzai's free and Democratic government. That's a real long way from where we are now. I don't know how (all that's seen as) much progress."

In terms of politics, Cafferty is an equal opportunity curmudgeon. When Ramsey Clark turned up as Saddam Hussein's lawyer, Cafferty exclaimed: "What is wrong with this moron? Why doesn't he just go live in Baghdad?"

Conservative-shmervative. Liberal-shmiberal. Jack Cafferty has a voice. The kind of voice we should hear a lot more often.

So, here's to Jack Cafferty. The last wild-card on cable news. He's his own man.

And for all of us who still believe in a no-spin America? He's our man, too.